don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
