Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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