Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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