How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize