And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
