Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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