I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
