I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
