Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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