that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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