is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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