she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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