Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
