put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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