Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
