Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
