I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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