i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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