Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
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