I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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