i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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