You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
