When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
