dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
