When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
