Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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