you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
