you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
