My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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