Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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