idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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