i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
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Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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