I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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