it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
