totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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