She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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