If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
