Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
