I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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