oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
