Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
