I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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