Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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