if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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