I've blown a few things in my day
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
