i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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