K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
