The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
