I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
