yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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