You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
