What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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