Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
