U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
