I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
