super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
