She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
