Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Screwed.edu
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
