Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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