I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize