'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
