CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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