So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
