i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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