if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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