Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
