I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize