I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
