my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
