on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
