Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
